If you’re anything like me, then you’re familiar with the stress that comes from self-awareness. It’s the feeling that everything you do must be justified in the eyes of others. I’ve always been acutely conscious of myself in a group setting, constantly nagged by a voice in my head cautioning me about how others might perceive my actions. Frankly, this voice can be annoying, stressful, and a hindrance in both my professional and personal life. Let’s give this voice a name for reference. How about “Whiny Winston“? (Thanks to ChatGPT for the suggestion.)
As I write this blog, Whiny Winston is shouting at me to stop. He argues that no one wants to read this, that it’s foolish. But why should I care? I’m continuing because I find value in sharing genuine experiences. This is a form of self-improvement, personal therapy, and a challenge to step out of my comfort zone.
There are specific situations where Whiny Winston’s influence becomes particularly obstructive to my happiness and success. Let’s examine them:
1. Concerns about how others perceive my behavior.
Whiny Winston often convinces me that others will find my behavior annoying or irritating. In social settings, he urges me to conform, even if it feels unnatural, and then mocks me for it.
2. Worries about others’ opinions of my achievements.
Whiny Winston insists that others’ perceptions of success matter. He prioritizes mainstream achievements like financial status, the car you drive, or how your house looks. But isn’t success subjective?
3. Anxiety about public perception of my work or output.
Sharing work publicly, like writing this blog, is daunting because Whiny Winston dismisses it as foolish. He advises staying low-key and not exposing my work to potential criticism.
4. Fear of judgment when I make mistakes.
Whiny Winston is convinced that people find it very important if I mess up. They will laugh, talk about it, and will never forget the failure. If it was up to Whiny Winston I will never try something new and always remain in the secure zone. I guess that will be a very boring life, but maybe that is what Whiny Winston prefers.
Recognizing and Confronting Whiny Winston
I started acknowledging the voice of Whiny Winston when I founded my company. Not having many entrepreneurial people in my circle, quitting my job to embark on this adventure gave Whiny Winston plenty to talk about. This made me feel insecure and really nervous. Luckily, my business partner had a much quieter Whiny Winston, which helped me through the tough and nerve-wracking moments.
However, this also taught me an important lesson. If you take a close look at your surroundings – your friends, colleagues, people on the street – you’ll see that everyone is just minding their own business. Nobody is watching you. Nobody cares about your success. You are a nobody. And honestly, that’s totally fine. Let’s face it; you are one of 8,088,685,508 people on this planet. You’re not that important to others. Take it easy and just enjoy the ride.
I don’t know about you, but this realization really calms me down. Now, whenever Whiny Winston wants to talk, I remind him of these facts, and he retreats back into his corner where he belongs.
What about you? Do you have a ‘Whiny Winston’?
